Rumpelstiltskin my own version
by Coolio
Summary: This is my own humerous version of the story, please r/r, I like the character's personalities..plus, Rumpelstiltskin raps! yahh


"Rumpelstiltskin; my version"  
  
  
  
This is my own version of the ol' fairy tale, enjoy  
  
Open scene: (the king has just returned to his kingdom after fighting in battle and is very thirsty, he journeys to Leonard Till's Inn for a drink. He reaches the Inn and knocks on the door)  
  
Leonard: (stomps towards door, wildly throwing up his arms and is yelling) Alright! Alright! Just a minute, just a minute.geez, calm down! (gets to door) Go away, we're closed! (slams door, then suddenly realizes who he slammed the door on)  
  
(runs towards door and opens it again) Uh, your majesty.Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was you! (he smiles a wide, nervous grin with beads of sweat pouring out)  
  
King: (massages eyebrows, frustrated) Nevermind Till, I just came to ask for a drink! (gives him a sharp look) Think you can handle that much?!  
  
Leonard: (gives him a hidden glare and forces a smile) Sure, your majesty. (stomps away angrily and says under breath) who does that guy think he is? King of the world? Geez, what a loser!  
  
(he opens a door on the floor and goes underneath it; there he sees his silky hair angel of a daughter, Gloria, his pride a joy)  
  
Leonard: (smiles with a sigh) How's my little snooker- wookums?  
  
Gloria: (spins around) Oh father, I've been working on this new drink, would you like to try it? (hands him a gauntlet)  
  
Leonard: Why sure, honey. (then he takes it from her and gulps it down. His eyes start to water and he spats out) (cough) Um, dear.(hack) what's in this?  
  
Gloria: Oh, father! I'm so glad you like it. I put tomato juice, wine and beer in it, isn't it just tasty?  
  
Leonard: (forces another smile) sure, dear. (secretly throws the rest of the drink in a plant).but guess who wants a drink upstairs, the king!  
  
Gloria: (smiles) Really, father? That's wonderful, I think I'll give him some of this drink I made.  
  
Leonard: No, Gloria! (blocks the surprised Gloria's way) Uh, I mean. the king is very thirsty, he'd probably just want a simple drink and be off on his way  
  
Gloria: Perhaps you're right, father  
  
Meanwhile, the king was impatiently waiting outside with his knights. All of a sudden Leonard comes rushing through the door wit a mug of beer.  
  
Leonard: (pants) Here you go, your majesty.  
  
King: Thank you Leonard (grabs the mug and drinks it down) mmm, good beer. (He all of a sudden sees Gloria through the window and peeks up his eyebrows with interest) who is that?  
  
Leonard: (looks through window and back at king and smiles at what he knows) Oh yeah, she's beautiful, isn't she? She's my daughter, Gloria.  
  
King: Yeah, she doesn't look that bad. Too bad she's a peasant though, for I am a king and I can't marry just any normal person. (he sticks his nose in the air)  
  
Leonard: (takes it personally and yells) SHE IS NOT A NORMAL PERSON! (then he noticed the king giving raising an eyebrow at him).oh, I mean, she has a very special talent.  
  
King: (eyebrow still raised) Oh, really? What's that?  
  
Leonard: (thinks quickly, then leans over towards king and talks like a salesman) Are you tired of looking for gold? Are you tired of trading for gold? (licks his hand and slaps it).. Tell you what my daughter can do, she can spend straw in to gold.  
  
King: Really, well, this is different. Alright Leonard, you may bring your daughter to the palace tonight, we'll see if she can do this.  
  
Leonard: (big, goofy smile on his face) Okey dokey! (realizes what just happened and says in Kyle's mom's voice) what What WHAT.but your majesty? (he tries to explain but the king has already ridden away)  
  
Leonard: (moans as he sits down on step) Oh, how will I ever tell Gloria?  
  
Later at the palace, Leonard was desperately trying to get Gloria to go in.  
  
Leonard: (pleading) Please, Gloria, Please?  
  
Gloria: Father! I am outraged, I can't believe you told the King a lie. I can't spend gold from straw!  
  
Leonard: Listen, Gloria, if you don't go in there, the king will think I'm a liar.  
  
Gloria: You are a liar!  
  
Leonard: I know that, but he doesn't know that and if he finds out, he'll throw me into the dungeon!  
  
Gloria: Father, I can't. Can't we just move to another town? (fearful for her fathers safety)  
  
Leonard: It's too late for that Gloria, you have to go in. (they both sigh and give each other a tight embrace)  
  
As they go in they see the shimmering throne room; sitting nobly on his throne is the king, faithful guards standing on either side of him.  
  
King: (notices Gloria immediately) Ah, the fair Gloria. (slowly he walks over to her and kisses her hand, she curtseys. The king turns towards Leonard and rolls his eyes) Oh, hi! Guards, escort him off the palace grounds!  
  
Gloria: (spends around and cries) Oh, Father! Good bye, Father!  
  
Leonard: (being dragged away) Good bye sweetie! I love you, miss you, kiss you, kiss, kiss.  
  
All of a sudden, the king grabs Gloria's face and spins her over to him  
  
King: So, Gloria, your father tells me you can spend straw into gold. Is that true?  
  
Gloria: (remembers what her father's punishment could be) Of, course. (she says with a smile)  
  
King: Very well, follow me. (he motions his finger for her to follow)  
  
The king leads her down a long, beautiful hall, filled with armor and great big carpets. At last, they reach a tiny room; there she sees a heap of straw and a spinning wheel.  
  
King: Now then, we'll see if this is all true. Tonight, you will spin all this straw into the shining stuff. If you do it, I will be pleased (then he puts his face close to hers and says in a cold whisper) But if you don't, your father will pay, severely! (he slams the door and locks it)  
  
As soon as the king left, Gloria sat down and looked at the straw and spinning wheel, she knew she couldn't do anything, so she just sat down and cried. All of a sudden, she heard a voice.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Hey babe, I hate to see a chick cry.  
  
Gloria looked up and saw a little man that looked like he was in his mid- thirties, he wore a blue outfit with tights and a long shirt, a sorta Robin Hood/court jester thing. He was giving her a sly look.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: So, what's wrong, toots?  
  
Gloria: (sobs) I have to spin all this straw into gold, but I just can't do it.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (looks at her, slyly) Is that so? Well, tell you what, I'll do it for you.  
  
Gloria: (looks at him with a doubtful look) Nah uh, you can't do it!  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (looks at her, surprisingly) Yes I can, woman!  
  
Gloria: No you can't!  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Yes I can!  
  
Gloria: No you can't!  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (holds up his hand to her face) Yes.. I.. can! I'll do it for you.(then he gives her another sly look and revolves his fingers at her). but it's gonna cost you.  
  
Gloria: (reaches inside her dress pocket) Will this do? (takes out 10 gold coins)  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (takes it from her and opens up the foil to reveal chocolate) mmmmm, yep this will do. (starts munching up chocolate)  
  
About 5 minutes later, Rumpelstiltskin was ready to get started.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (hops on wheel) Just put the straw on the spindle, I'll take care of it up here. (he starts running on the wheel)  
  
Gloria: That's a new way to spin.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Hey look at it this way, I just invented the tread wheel.  
  
They worked all night and then morning finally came.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (looks out door window) Ok, the king's coming back, time for me to split.  
  
He disappears right before the king comes in.  
  
King: Oh, poor Gloria, knew you couldn't do it.. (he suddenly notices) Holy Moldy! Look at all this stuff, Gloria, you dumbfound me.  
  
Gloria: Your welcome your majesty, now if you excuse me.(she starts heading out the door)  
  
King: (stops her in her tracks) Going somewhere?!  
  
Gloria: Um, yes.home.  
  
King: (shakes his head and tsks) I don't think so. You see, my little gold maker (he gets closer to her and strokes her chin with his finger) if you can spin this much gold, you can spin more.  
  
With a firm grasp, he took her hand and led her down to a bedroom, where she could rest for the day and have her meals. Later that night, however, the king came back.  
  
King: Now that you're all rested up, it's time to get to work.  
  
This time he led her to a bigger room, with piles of straw and a wheel.  
  
King: You will spin all this straw into gold, if you do this I will be pleased again (then he held her face and said firmly but a little more gently) but if you don't, you know what will happen.  
  
Gloria: (sits down and sighs) Yes, I know.  
  
King: (looks at her with sensitivity) Gloria? (she slowly looks up at him) If you need anything, just ring that bell on the wall, one of my servants, or I will help you.  
  
After the king left, Gloria just looked at the straw and sighed, then she heard a familiar voice behind her.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (winks at her) Hi-e! Hi-e!  
  
Gloria: Oh, please! (she pleaded) Help me.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Ok, toots I will, but it's gonna cost you again.  
  
Gloria: (takes off her solid gold necklace) Here, my mother gave it to me before she.(Rumpelstiltskin grabs it out of her hand) Rumpelstiltskin.That'll do. (he puts it in his pocket and starts running the wheel while Gloria does the straw)  
  
Soon morning came and they heard the king coming down the hall.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Whoops, that's my exit cue! See ya, baby doll! (blows her a kiss as he vanishes)  
  
King: (comes in) Holy Guacamole, Gloria! You did it again, Girl!  
  
Gloria: Why, thank you, your majesty, now I'll go home.  
  
Right before she leaves, the king gives her a desperate grip.  
  
King: Gloria, wait!  
  
Gloria: (more surprised than the last time) What?  
  
King: Um, um.. (he looks nervous as he tries to hide his true feelings for her), I want you.. I mean, I want you to make more for me, yeah! (he's sweating even more)  
  
Gloria: (exhausted and angry) But your majesty!  
  
King: (raises up a hand) The king has spoken; now you will follow me to a room where you can rest for tonight.  
  
Once again, the king led her down to another room where there was a big bed and she could eat. That night, however, he came back for the second time.  
  
King: Alright, Gloria, time to go.  
  
Once more he led her down to a huge room, with mountains of straw and a spinning wheel.  
  
King: Ok, Gloria, I want you to spend this straw into gold, if you succeed, I will be pleased, once again. (he gently strokes her hand and looks at her with warm eyes) If you need anything, just ring.  
  
He leaves and Gloria sits down, again. She still doesn't know how to do it by herself and she wishes for the mysterious man to come back.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (magically appears with a nightshirt on and dragon slippers) yawn, this better be important!  
  
Gloria: I'm sorry, what were you doing?  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (looks at her, sarcastically) Oh, silly me, I was sleeping.IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!  
  
Gloria: (pleading harder than ever) Oh please help me, please, I'll give you anything.anything!  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Anything? (gives her a sly look) hmm, interesting. Ok, if I do this for you, someday when you get married, you have to promise to give me you first child.  
  
Gloria: (shocked by his request, but desperate for her and her father) Oh, okay okay, I'll give you my first baby, just please help me.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Ok, you got it then, sexy. (he smiles at her like he knows something she doesn't)  
  
So after a long night (and tons of coffee), they were finally done.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Well, time for me to disappear, oh and sweetie, don't forget our deal! (gives her another wink and disappears)  
  
King: Oh my gosh, Gloria! You did it, again!  
  
Gloria: Yes I did, you highness and if I'm done now, I'll go home now.  
  
Once again, he stopped her.  
  
King: (rubbing her hand) Gloria, I have something to tell you. (she looked at him with an angry look), Gloria I'm not going to make you spin gold for me again. (He looked at her with soft eyes and took a deep breath). Gloria, I've fallen in love with you, your kindness, and your beauty.. (then he got down on one knee).Gloria, will you marry me?  
  
Gloria could see that he changed and that he had become a better man, she excepted. Later that afternoon, the king sent for a messenger to go tell Gloria's father.  
  
Messenger: (goes into the inn and sees waiters and waitresses running back and forth and people smiling, eating and drinking. He finally gets a chance to talk to someone) Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find, Leonard Till?  
  
Leonard: Oh, that's me, but you seat yourself. I have to tell you, I've had to hire so much extra help since Gloria had to go to that 'king' of ours, geez. (he makes a frustrated look) Oh and by the way, if you plan to check in, rooms are 3 coins a night.  
  
Leonard starts to walk away, but the messenger stops him  
  
Messenger: Oh, but I have a message for you.  
  
Leonard: (raises eyebrow) Oh really, from whom? Is it from that "shack", Tom Thumb's Roadhouse! I tell you, if you came here to tell me that they're gonna sue me, I have news for you, that Yak tar-tar was my idea! I didn't steal it from them; they stole it from me!  
  
Messenger: (after calming Leonard down) No, no! I'm from the king; he has asked your daughter's hand in marriage.  
  
All of a sudden, Leonard's face fell.  
  
Leonard: She's marrying him? I can't believe it, I hope that guy treats her right, he better! I'll go to the wedding but, if she's not happy, she's out of there!  
  
At this, the messenger just walked out, shaky. After he got out though, Leonard called after him that children under 12 could eat free, and they had kid menus.  
  
The following day was the wedding; everybody was happy, even Leonard. After the king apologized for anything bad he ever did to him, Leonard and the king made up and the following year, Queen Gloria gave birth to a baby.  
  
Gloria: Oh honey, isn't he beautiful? ( she asks her husband, as she rocks the baby prince in her arms)  
  
King: He sure is baby.  
  
He was just about to kiss her, when the mysterious little man arrived.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Well, well, well. If it isn't the happy couple.  
  
King: (takes out his sword) Who are you and what do you want?!  
  
Gloria: (gently puts his arm down and looks at the man in fear) Your back! Oh my gosh, please don't take my baby!  
  
All of a sudden, the king turned around in disbelief and demanded to know what was going on.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh, didn't the Mrs. Tell you? I was the one spinning the gold for her and as payment, she promised me her first baby. (he smiles and steps closer to them)  
  
King: (raises his sword again but then slowly turns toward Gloria) Gloria, is that true?  
  
Gloria: (looks sadly at the floor and whispers) yes.  
  
At this moment, the king gently took Gloria's hand and told her that he didn't care about the gold anymore, he loved her and the baby more than anything. He promised her that he would do everything in his power to protect their baby. All of a sudden, Rumpelstiltskin stepped in.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Gee, I would hate to ruin this touching scene, but the baby was promised, so get his stuff, I have an elf meeting in 10 minutes.  
  
Gloria: (crying) Oh please, don't take my baby. I'll do anything, anything, just please don't take him. (she starts to cry harder as the king wrapped his arm around her)  
  
At seeing this, Rumpelstiltskin pitied them and decided to make them an offer.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Ok, lady, ok. (rolls his eyes and thinks, dames) Look, if you can guess my name in three days, you can keep the rugrat.  
  
Gloria: I-I can? Is your name, Reggie?  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Nope.  
  
Gloria: Garth?  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Nah uh.  
  
It continued that way for the rest of the night, when morning came around, the king sent out every messenger in his kingdom to find any names that they could and report them back. That night, the little man returned.  
  
Gloria: Doc?  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Wrongo.  
  
Gloria: Bashful?  
  
Rump: Nope.  
  
Gloria: Bart Simpson?  
  
Rump: (Bart Simpson voice) No way.  
  
The following day, the queen was very worried. Her father came to the palace and offered himself, to go and search for a name, he decided to start in the woods.  
  
Leonard: Geez, look at these woods, you can't see squat! (he complained as he walked deeper and deeper into the wilderness)  
  
He almost given up, when he thought he saw some little houses and when he got closer, he saw some little men drinking, having drinking games and partying. He squatted behind some bushes and decided to watch.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (announces) This is a big party tonight boys, tomorrow that baby's gonna be mine, all mine!  
  
At this, all the other men cheered. Then, a gypsy one came on to the stage.  
  
Gypsy: Hey, pal (gives Rumpelstiltskin a pat on the back) I just looked in my crystal ball in the future and it seems the came up with this new kind of singing, called rapping, I was wondering if you could rap for us.  
  
At this, Rumpelstiltskin gave a big grin and the men cheered once again. Then after the gypsy gave him an example of how to rap and dance, Rumpelstiltskin magically transformed his clothes into baggy jeans, a blue jersey, Adidas shoes and a pair of tight shades.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin Rap  
  
Ahhhh, yeah! Tonight I drink, tonight I party But come tomorrow, I'm gonna party more hardy  
  
Tonight I'm gonna go see the queen, To whom; I choose to treat so mean  
  
She thinks she's gonna win, what a crazy lady! I'm just gonna smile and say, "hey I have your baby!"  
  
This game, I'm defiantly gonna win, For what's my name? (they all cheer) RUMPELSTILTSKIN!  
  
At this, Leonard's eyes perked up and he rushed to tell his daughter. Later that night, Rumpelstiltskin entered the palace hall, but to his surprise nobody had sad faces, there were the king, Gloria and Leonard with great, big smiles on their faces.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: (looks at them nervously) Um, are you guys ready?  
  
Gloria: Why of course, please sit down.  
  
As Rumpelstiltskin sat down, Gloria started reading off the names.  
  
Gloria: Ralph? Rump: No  
  
Gloria: Alvin?  
  
Rump: No  
  
Finally, Rumpelstiltskin couldn't believe he was going through this and decided to speak up.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Alright, I've had enough of this brew ha ha, just give me the baby!  
  
Gloria: Hold on, give me just one more chance, ok?  
  
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh, ok, guess.  
  
Gloria: Rumpelstiltskin!  
  
At this, Rumpelstiltskin's mouth hung open.  
  
Rump: What?! How did you know? I can't believe this, I'm leaving! (he stomped out of the castle)  
  
The baby started crying, but nobody was upset about that. The king took Gloria in a tight embrace and gave her a huge kiss, while Leonard looked on in happiness.  
  
Rumpelstiltskin, meanwhile, was told that he couldn't show his face in front of the other forest creatures again and had to move far beyond the hills, where he decided to go to night school and learn how to be an Easter bunny or something.  
  
The end 


End file.
